Yes, I am talking about myself. Does this shock you? It should not. But perhaps you are anyway. The fact is I am a transgender woman. I have never written about this on my aquestionersjourney blog before. I have only been identifying as a woman since November of 2018. However, there has been many years of exploring my feminine side with the last five including dressing anytime I was alone. It eventually became appearant to me that I might be a woman in the summer of 2018. It was then that I actually would feel like a woman outside of dress up time. Although, there had been snatches of time that this would have occurred throughout my years.
You may ask why so late in life did you recognize this about yourself? Some girls and woman go through years of denial, or periods of expressing there feminine side and purging (getting rid of everything femme). I was never in denial that I know of. In my case I chalk it up to ingnorance. That is right—ignorance. “How could you not be aware of being a girl? I hear that transgender individuals know from very early on in life that their gender doesn’t match their physical bodies,” your will ask and say.* The basic thing is that no two transgender individuals follow the exact same path, just like anyone else in life. I believe my ignorance was due to early addiction to drugs and alcohol, and once I shook the addiction off, I was plague with depression and anxiety for almost 40 years. It was only five years ago that I managed to beat back these mental health issues. Arising out of the fog, I began to recognize the feminine in me.
So maybe you do not know anything about transgenderism, or know very little outside that there are such people out there. I do not plan on saying much in this post. I will provide a more in depth post about the transgender spectrum at some time. Although the numbers are small, the spectrum itself is wide. First a transgender person is a person who identifies as a different gender than the sex they were assigned at birth. But there our all kinds of transgender individuals. There are the male and females sides of the spectrum. Then those in between, such as the part time woman (only feels feminine while dressed), genderfluid, or genderqueer.
I have started another blog. This focuses on transgenderism, whether about myself or in general terms. So, it is part perosnal journey, part educational, and part opinion reasonably argued. The address to this blog is stephiegurl.home.blog.† I am currently putting posting anymore posts here on hold, except this post here. I have left two unfinished post for now. When I return here I will most likely do a post on the transgender spectrum. When that will be I am not sure at this point. I feel that I need to concetrate on my new blog as I sort through transitioning from presenting as male to female (mtf). This is living my life as a woman. I believe this new blog will help me in this endeavor.
I know some of my readers (the few that I have) might be shocked or even offended. That is certainly not my intention here. It is to inform you of a big change in my life’s journey. Recognizing I was a transgender woman was certainly a big huge thing in my life, one that might not be top by any other life event I have had. And, I have had a lot.
I will leave it at that for now.
[I thank in advance those of you who are understanding and accepting of me. I will also say that my change of gender identity does not change the core of my personality. You will see this when I get back to posting on my usual topics here.]
* If you know anything about transgender people, or think you do.
† Please don’t visit this post if you would be afraid of a bit of sexual content. Also I have very strict rules for posting there.